The IZZY Ex~perience: JESSE

When I was in college, the love of my life was Jesse. It can be thrilling dating a bad boy. Until he is incarcerated.

"My lawyer says I will be out in two years. Will you wait for me, Izabela?"
Two years? "Um. Sure. I'll wait for you, Jesse."
"Good."
"No more stealing cars?"
"No more stealing cars."
He noticed my large tote bag. "They let you carry that in here?"
"They're my books."
"Show them to me. I want to know everything you're doing when I'm inside."

I pulled out the tombs, one by one. "This one is History of Art. There's an exam coming up on Byzantine architecture. . . My Physics workbook. . .This monster is the complete dialogues by Plato. I'm reading the Theatetus. I have a paper due in the morning."

"I would hate to be the reason if you did not do well in school. I am glad to see you're keeping up."
"Trying to." Barely.
"What will you do with all of that knowledge?"
"Get a job? Go to graduate school? I am not sure where I will be in two years."
"What are you saying, Izabela? That you won't wait? Is it because I don't fit in with your Ivy League friends?"

"No. That's not it."

"Then what is it?"
"I –"
He banged on the glass. "Oh. I get it. You can't be with someone you turned in!"
"No. No. I would never do that."

"When I left your dorm room that night, you called the police."

"It wasn't me. It wasn't anyone. There was an all-points bulletin out for that stolen green 1975 Corvette. You got on I-95, where there is a state trooper like every tenth of a mile, and speeded."

"Don't twist this, Izabela. How will I ever trust you again?"

You tell me: Missed opportunity or dodged bullet?

The IZZY Ex~perience: DAKOTA

Dakota was (literally) a starving artist and an aspiring filmmaker. For our anniversary dinner, he took me to Pup 'n' Taco. Here's how that went down:

"Where else can you get food this delicious for under $1.29?" I was trying to be a good sport about my hot dog, salsa, and cheese inside a hard taco shell.

"$1.29?" Dakota asked.

"Yeah."

"Oh no."

"What's wrong?"

"I thought it was under one dollar."

"That's for the pup or the taco."

Dakota emptied his pockets of all of his change. "I'm sorry, Izabela. I didn't bring enough. This was supposed to be my treat."

This solidified my decision to become a yuppy and subsequently leave Dakota behind. Do you want to know how he turned out? Dakota is an eight time Academy Award winner for special effects. And, no, he never once thanked his ex-girlfriend, Izabela Paisley (me), from film school.

The IZZY Ex~perience: HUGH

I met Hugh on my first day of work at an L.A. advertising agency in 1983. I told him I was going to be a screenwriter. He asked what I had written. "I'm in the hunting and gathering stage," I replied.

"Meaning you've written nothing. Until now. I can visualize this movie. It stars me. Taking over the agency one client at a time. Vice president by the time I am thirty. . .two. Buying a house in the Hollywood Hills. Doubling my investment on the resale. The L.A. real estate market is a surefire home run, Izabela."

"Wow. I think I have my screenplay," I said.

"You can be in it. I meet you years later. On Sunset Boulevard. You look like one of those aging starlets from a bygone era. I am about to get into my Lamborghini when you call to me. . . (In a creaky high pitched voice) “'Hey, Mister. I was a famous screenwriter.'”

I should have known, right then and there, because I am that old lady and I still write.